Don't Rape.

A friend of mine on Facebook recently posted this article about rape, and why boys come into college thinking rape is funny. It's positively baffling to think of anyone finding rape or jokes about rape funny. I'm thinking about what could be funny about it, and I'm hearing crickets. Yes, sexually assaulting someone is hilarious. Raping someone, and damaging their ability to trust and go about their everyday life is stuff made for comedy. If you didn't understand that as sarcasm, you need to just get off my blog right now because clearly you're lost.

One of the things I immediately loved about my university was the fact that it is a pretty safe campus. It's a smaller university, and not in the middle of urban culture like a school in Richmond or Norfolk. Things absolutely happen, but it's not on a tremendous scale. Sometimes we have weekend reports of female students being assaulted or grabbed in the wee hours of morning. Usually the reports take place around the fraternity houses. I'm not saying fraternities are rapists, but they have parties. I've been to frat parties before and apart from the fact that it's just dirty and gross in those houses, there are drunk people everywhere. Guys and girls who can barely walk or formulate a sentence because they are so hammered. It's more disturbing than fun, really. Needless to say, my friend and I didn't stay long.

It's disturbing that that there are guys out there who see a drunk girl as an opportunity. It's disturbing that girls/women are taught not to walk alone after a certain time of day and not to dress in particular ways. I don't understand why it isn't common sense that if a woman says she doesn't want to have sex, or is too incapacitated to think clearly, then no is the answer. We life in a culture that tells girls and women to do particular things to avoid being assaulted but we never tells boys that rape is bad. It's a violation which often leads to physical and mental damage for the victim. So while the attacker gets that temporary gratification, the victim is stuck living with it for the rest of their lives.

I'm not thinking that anything I'm saying is really fresh or new. In fact, as I'm typing this it feels redundant. However, while it is common sense to me that rape is wrong, clearly not everyone's gotten the memo because rape happens. A lot. It would be awesome if it never happened, and should it occur, it is something so shocking it makes headline news because the thought of a woman at college, the bar, ANYWHERE, and dressed in ANY way, being raped is repulsive and horrifying.

It's also, like, illegal. So maybe think about that.

No one is asking for it. When I go to the bar and have a few drinks, I am not asking for it. When I show my cleavage or wear a tight skirt, I am not asking for it. When I wear red lipstick I am not asking for it. If I am opinionated and out-spoken I am not asking for it. If I'm shy, I am not asking for it. If I am walking alone, day or night, I am not asking for it. If I have had sex with multiple people in the past, I am not asking for it. If I am a virgin, I am not asking for it. The list goes on.

Unfortunately, rape culture is not just assault. It's also just the way women are treated. When I was nineteen, I remember walking through the mall on a break and I was wearing a particular pair of tights. Men stared at me, made comments, whistled, etc. I was not asking for that attention. A woman of any age cannot even walk through the mall, dressed as she wants to without being bothered? What's even scarier is that girls as young as thirteen (and younger) are objectified in this way.

I know this post is short, and I've not mention male rape. Yes, male rape happens, however I know more about female rape than male rape (and it occurs much more with females). It's just really disturbing that it's even an issue, and that it isn't taken more seriously within our culture considering the frequency of it. Universities and colleges don't want to go through with reports because they are afraid it will make them look bad, but wouldn't a cover up appear worse? If I went to a university known for trying to cover up these things rather than handling them I wouldn't feel safe, and I would probably transfer to another school.