"Real" Job.

I haven't been good about posting lately. I've been busy and sleepy. And I also started this blog while unemployed, which brings me to my post of the evening!

I just saw someone on Facebook refer to girls working in a retail store as lacking a "real job." Does it pay you? Do you do things? Then it's a damn job!

Regardless of the amount of hours or pay you make, a job is a job, and frankly any person who shows contempt for a person working in a clothing store, in a restaurant, or any other low-wage customer service job is just exposing their own ignorance. Regardless of the perception of those jobs, they are hard. I know a slew of different aged people working these jobs, and they aren't just kiddie, teeny boppers. I've worked with teenagers and grown women with families. It's not just standing around bullshitting. You've got to know all of merchandise, the sales, how to run the registers, all of the store's policies, the sizing (if you work in a clothing store) etc. It's not just sitting around gossiping. I've had customers who are engaging and fun, as well as customers who are completely disrespectful and thankless but no matter what I'm met with I still have to be composed, respectful, and patient. I do this for eight hours a day.

I'm not saying this to render sympathy. It's the job I have and I do it (as it wasn't easy to find a full-time gig out of college). However, it's not any less of a job than your 9-5. Our management works full-time, sometimes more. Do not treat someone like less of a human, void of a "real job" just because they haven't gotten a full time position yet.

PS: It's not ideal for us when the store closes at nine and you roll up at 8:55pm. Most of us will have composure and help you regardless of when you arrive. However, there will be times when you encounter someone crabby because they're human! We don't live in the store, and we cannot begin to close our stores until you're out. Is it okay for an associate to show attitude? Not at all. But if you were in that circumstance, having worked all day or maybe just gotten out of a full day at high school or university...how would you feel? You can't say you wouldn't be exhausted.

This is why I think everyone needs to work a job like that. Also, if you're suddenly uppity because you've transcended and gotten a full-time job, you need to get over it. As a person who has been there, you should know how to be conscientious.

Smarty Pants.

This may come as a surprise, but maybe not, that I've never really considered myself smart. I was always decently smart in grade school, probably above average, but I wasn't the genius or the idiot. In the typical youngest child point of view, I thought my sister was the smart and pretty one. Everyone said she was so smart and pretty; I always felt like I was just kind of there. This is attributed to my own self-esteem issues rather than other people, and I don't blame other people (It's not my sister's fault she's smart and a pretty person). I was so demotivated my last half of high school, as well as during a decent chunk of community college.

So here I am now, at 24, and suddenly I'm told I'm smart and considered a smart person. I was talking to my professor yesterday, and I told her I've thought about getting a PhD, and I'd love to go for it, but there's a part of me that isn't sure and I don't know if that's common sense or low self-esteem. There's no doubt you've got to have the smarts to get one, as well as the tenacity. Plus, it's a risky move because the job market's a bitch (in fairness, I don't know of a marker that wouldn't be. There are more PhD's because more people go to college these days than ever. The Business degree will likely become as criticized as humanities someday because as it is considered the "good" major to get because it's economical there are now more people getting it, thus increasing competition). My professor told if I want to go for it then do it, and not to let anyone discourage me from the direction I want to go for. Also, that I am smart, and it shows now that I've begun to care about my work and push my intelligence.

It's still strange to own it. I don't walk around thinking that I'm so smart. Transitioning from not feeling intelligent to having people tell me often, be it friends or family, or my professors (some of the most intelligent people I've encountered) say I'm intelligent is a stranger compliment for me than being told I'm pretty. I don't do the whole arguing the compliment nonsense, and I attempt to be gracious and take it, but it still surprises me to hear "You're really smart," "You're a good writer," etc etc. It brightens my day hearing that, even if I'm still working on owning it.

Reasons to Exercise Apart from Weight Loss

1. It decreases anxiety and depression. As someone who struggles with both, this is huge. You can take all of the medication you want, but medicine isn't a magical pill that solves every issue you'll ever have, and sometimes medication can make things worse. I am not anti-psychiatric medication, as someone who benefits from it, but my point is that it will not solve everything.

2. You don't have to look nice. Seriously, you can take a walk or a run in your pajamas and it's more practical than a face of makeup and slacks. Or high heels. When as was a teenager, I remember popping right out of bed in my pjs and hopping on the elliptical. Not gonna lie, I still do this sometimes, or if I'm especially lazy I'll sleep in sweat pants so that all I have to do is put my hair in a bun, put on a sport's bra, grab my sneakers, and run.

3. You can do it while watching TV. I feel a lot less bad about watching six hours of RuPaul's Drag Race if I spend some of that time viewing it while walking on the treadmill or doing sit ups through commercial breaks.

4. It's a good time to catch up on music. Whenever I have new music to listen to, I bring it to the treadmill and the time flies.

5. You can read. Okay, personally, I don't know how people do this, but some people have figured it out, so it is a thing.

6. No one will bother you. Kind of like doing yard work, no one really wants to talk to you if you're exercising because they'll be afraid that you'll ask them to join in.

7. You just feel better. Who doesn't want to feel better? Be it because you don't feel fat, or endorphins, it's a nice feeling to not feel icky.

8. Energy drinks. Yep, I'm going there. But working out is MORE than a valid reason for the magic that is Red Bull.

Random

I haven't posted in a while. Woops, blog neglect!

I haven't had anything on my mind really that I felt inclined to write about...okay, that isn't true. Of course there have been happenings, but not all things belong on a public forum. Okay, so just a little crash course in random:

1. I thoroughly enjoy when people who are all "whaaaa I'm a non-conformist, you shan't judge me" are profoundly judgmental themselves. Personally, I believe it is human nature to have preconceived ideas about certain people or things just because we cannot help it due to the values we have, the way we are raised, etc. Anyone who says they've never judged someone is a liar. However, it's obnoxious when people write up ridiculous Facebook posts placing judgment on other people for one reason or another. Seriously, get over yourself. If you asked the subject of your ridicule, they probably don't like you either and think your haircut is stupid.

2. I hate snow. Snow can melt in hell. If claims of insanity spike in 2014, I fully attribute it to cabin fever due to snow. I've never really understood the appeal of living somewhere like Florida, but ya know, I get it now.

3. Billie Joe Armstrong (that guy from Green Day) and Norah Jones' Everly Brothers cover album, Foreverly, is actually pretty nice. I find Green Day annoying, but this is actually an intriguing duo worth listening to.

4. So the leader of the Westboro Baptists died. The reactions I've seen are quite interesting. For me, I can't imagine being happy that someone is dead, and I don't think his death will stop them unfortunately. I've read posts about people contemplating picketing his funeral, with would be a tremendous thing to do, because karma. However, I wonder what it would accomplish. These people are hateful and insane, but should we stoop to their level, really? Would it really create peace and/or understanding of those with different ideals than us? For me, I think fighting hateful people with hate is just going to create an even greater divide. I understand the anger, because these people (and others like them) have certainly engendered anger in me, but coming at someone who disagrees with you like a striking viper just doesn't seem like a way to create understanding. I don't condone people like them at all, but just some food for thought...

The "Dress" Secret

Those who know me know I wear a dress a good 96% of the time. Well, even people who don't really know me can figure this out if their eyeballs work. I think the reactions people give me are pretty funny. Usually people say things like "You're always so dressed up" or "Aren't you uncomfortable?" Believe it or not, I don't find my dresses lacking comfort, and I don't qualify myself as being "dressed up" unless the occasion I'm dressing for involves heels and possibly toned down makeup (as in, no red lips, or a less bright of a red).

There's this dress...

 

This dress...

 

(This is from my first semester a uni. A modified version of my closet, but I can spot at least fifteen of my dresses here).

 

You get the point. I own a lot of dresses. If I were to count how many I have, I've probably go over fifty. The thing is I actually wear them all. Also, I feel more comfortable. I don't wear some dress made of fabric that doesn't stretch or breathe every day, and most of mine are made of comfy fabrics. But I'm going to let you in on my dress secret: wearing dresses takes less time! When I get ready in the morning, or whenever, I do my hair and makeup, and then I pick out my clothing for the day. When you have a dress all you need is a pair of shoes and you're set (maybe tights depending on weather). It's takes me a lot less time. I find jeans generally uncomfortable because I don't like the way they dig into your gut. Also, if some pants give you the muffin top, you have to find the right shirt to hide it. Not all shirts go with all trousers. Dresses, on the other hand, you get your top and bottom covered, and all you need is a pair of shoes and BOOM outfit.

 

And everyone thinks you're classy and a dressed up fabulous human being. You're welcome.

 

PS To those who are curious, all of the dresses pictured I have found on ModCloth throughout the years. However, you don't need to buy a dress that is more than your monthly student loans to look like a fancy pants...dig around and you do find nifty deals on their site.

 

Gym Bullies

I have been seeing a lot of posts, commercials, etc. about people feeling uncomfortable at the gym because of people being rude to them or because they are intimidated with all of the hard-bodied, spandex-clad gym patrons about.

We get it, lady.

 

They are beautiful, in great shape, and barely even look like they've been running for six miles on the treadmill. I don't get these majestic people who go to the gym and look more like an ad, as if they are just modeling gym attire and equipment. Personally, when I run, I look like I've been dying from cholera when I'm done.

 

I'm not going to lie about my personal disdain for the gym. Well, maybe disdain is too strong of a word. I would rather exercise at home. I like the privacy and lack of inhibition of going down to the basement of my parent's house and working out. I can take my time, and I don't need to worry about rushing because someone is waiting for me to hop off, or like I'm being judged. I just want to run on the treadmill, leave me be. And I rarely wear spandex. More often than not I run in the sweatpants and t-shirt I slept in the night before. The biggest plus, for me, in going to the gym is that I'm in and out. I'm much less likely to stop while I'm running/walking on the treadmill; I go for an hour, hop off, lift some weights, and get the hell out. I went to the gym at school because it's free. One of my reasons in not going is, frankly, I don't want to pay to use a treadmill at a gym when I've got one in my damn house that I may use whenever I want! It's almost midnight right now, and if I wanted to go down and run in my PJS I could do so within two seconds. I could do this now, at 3AM, 10AM, etc. Anytime is gym time, and I don't need to worry about the rush hours in which everyone and their mother is trying to find an elliptical.

 

Having said that, I get feeling self-conscious at the gym. I have certainly felt insecure at the gym because I'm not a hard body, and my stomach is puffy. I also do not have defined calf muscles, and my hips and thighs do not lie (although I think hips are awesome). Then there's the self consciousness about what I wear to the gym, and being in public without makeup. Yeah, I am a person who feels uncomfortable in public without makeup. However, there's now stigma about having makeup on your face at the gym. In fairness, there really isn't a point in putting a face of makeup on when you're going to sweat it off. Having said that, I will at least put some heavy duty spot foundation on my zits and acne scars.

 

It's a bit sad how exercising at the gym has become a judgmental activity. Be it because someone has makeup on, nice hair, or even a body void of a six pack. It's sad how mean people can be. Maybe we'd all be in better shape if worry about what other people do at the gym wasn't such a thing.

 

Let's just clear this up, gym bullies: the people you see that aren't perfectly muscular will never get in shape if they don't work out! Instead of calling them fat, encourage them for being proactive. We should be happy for people trying to better themselves and get healthier considering how many people die because of health-related complications obesity or sedentary lifestyles can provoke. Also, not everyone who goes to the gym who looks perfect started off that way. We all have to start somewhere.



The "Average" Barbie

I've heard of people campaigning for Barbie dolls that look "normal" or like "real women" for ages. The most recent one, is this doll, and the creator is actually on his way to getting them manufactured. Personally, I think the dolls are very pretty, and if I were a little girl I'd love to play with them. However, whenever these types of things come up I get a little confused. There's no denying my own personal issues with my physical appearance, and that I started being insecure when I was very young. However, I don't think I'd blame my Barbie. I don't think I would blame any of my dolls. Honestly, I cannot pin point where my self-consciousness about my body engendered itself, but I don't think I would blame my dollies because they made me so happy as a child and I would spend the ENTIRE day, sun up to sun down, playing with them. I had a pretty good understanding of the fact that they were DOLLS, not real people, and not modeled to look real. Dolls are rooted in fantasy, in imaginative play; of course they aren't going to look "real."

Then I find annoyance in the concept of the "real woman." I hate the term "real woman." Not everyone looks like this "Normal Barbie" and they shouldn't be shamed for it. Some people are shorter, taller, thinner, fatter, etc. There are people out there with bodies that look more like the long legged, buxom Barbie (sans chronic tippy toes). Placing a standard on what is normal is just as dangerous as the "thin is in" standards of our media today.

If we really want to create dolls that represent "real women" then they need to come in every shape and size combination under the sun (as well as skin colors, hair, eyes, and even things like cellulite, muscle tone, and veins will need to be brought in). I appreciate the efforts for positive body acceptance because not all young girls understand that fantasy element of dolls, or even that the media's interpretation of beauty is flawed (seriously, if we were given the list of people it took to make an actress look as she does our minds would probably be blown). However, I don't think we should use words like "real" or "normal" because it still others different bodies. It isn't really fair to shame a tall and skinny girl, but it also isn't fair to shame a short girl with an average body weight, or an average heighted girl who is considered overweight. In fairness, I think people and our media are much more cruel to average or overweight women, but it's not exactly right to be hateful to someone for having a different body than you, regardless of how "good" or "bad" you find their body to be.

I've surely said it before, but I'll say it again: We need to stop obsessing about how big or small someone's body is, and think more about being healthy. Eat what's good for you, enjoy the not so healthy stuff in moderation (I think it's impossible to just outlaw cake from your life), exercise now and then, and do things like listen to music or read books that just make your brain happy. If you're brain is happy, you'll feel a bit better, and actually want to take care of your body.

*drops mic*

Role Models

The most agitating arguments that we surely encounter daily is what celebrities, books, etc. art meant to do. The worst, for me, is the argument that famous people are meant to act like positive, model citizens for the world's children. I also hate the argument that books are bad because they teach kids bad things or their subject matter is bad.

I'm going to break this down in an effort to write with more clarity. Let's start with celebrities like pop stars, super models, actors, actresses, etc. It is not their responsibility to babysit the world's children. As much as I cannot stand Miley Cyrus, and I don't understand why she wears those ridiculous 90's underpants that show more of your vagina than necessary, she is not a babysitter. She is an entertainer, and it's common sense at this point in pop culture that most young musicians go through a phase where they just don't wear pants very much. Madonna, Britney, Christina, etc. I don't think Lady Gaga has worn pants at all. These people are paid to entertain. If they don't entertain then they won't get paid.

Not only are they entertainers, but they are people too. Are you perfect all of the time? Do you go to church every Sunday, says your prayers daily, please and thank you, never curse, never drink, nice to everyone, solving world hunger, and you keep your shirt buttoned up all the time? We don't know everything about these people, and a decent chunk of them, like regular people, have issues. Plenty of the come from broken families, abusive families, have drug or alcohol problems, eating disorders, etc. No one is born immune to the tragedies life makes possible, even if they do become a teen idol.

If a celebrity wants to be considered a "good" role model, then fine. However, if the day ever comes when Taylor Swift wants to do a sexy editorial, or goes out and gets hammered with her friends, the backlash will be the reason for the teardrops on her guitar (the angel/devil binary needs to be shot). Once we declare these people "role models" we put them onto an impossible pedestal. Not to mention everyone has a different idea of what a role model is. Some people think Katy Perry is the embodiment of female objectification, anti-feminist (feminism warrants a completely different post), whatever. Fill in the blank. Others, like myself, think she's just a silly popstar, not trying to take herself so seriously, she has boobs, and dammit, she's going to embrace them! I enjoy her music because it's generally happy and upbeat. Seriously, a song like Roar gives me life when I'm running on the treadmill! However, she's not everyone's cup of tea and that's fine. Usually, when people consider something or somewhere immoral, it translates to them just flat out disliking it anyhow.

The concept of a role model is ridiculous to me. These people aren't gods, and they aren't your kids parents. Yes, unfortunately, there are a lot of young people out there without a parent or some sort of adult mentor to look to, so they turn to their favorite musicians or actresses. But is it a musician's fault, really, if someone interprets what they do in a negative way? Also, for those who are parents, parent your child! If you don't like the Marilyn Manson music, don't let your kid listen to it. My parents didn't let me watch MTV for quite awhile, and if there was something I wanted to see, I had to ask permission. Also, we underestimate kids. I remember being a diehard Britney Spears fan as a kid, and seeing the performance at the VMAS where she stripped to the flesh-toned getup, but guess what? I didn't want to go out and do the same thing!  I understood that she was a musician, and an entertainer. It's not real life. And as we all saw later in her career, she's a person with demons and imperfections.

Now, lets get to books. Have you ever looked at a list of banned books? Notice how many of those books are considered classics. Oscar Wilde has a great quote from The Picture of Dorian Gray in which he says "'The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame."

So, maybe people feel uncomfortable with books like Twilight because the protagonist is self-conscious, angsty (teenage archetype), dependent on her boyfriend, and she's willing to forsake her life for her significant other...and she's only a teenage girl. Do we not engrain this type of mentality into women of all ages? That we must have boyfriends? Husbands? Seriously, we've had this idea for women for ages, and we all like to think we've progressed and that we're teaching women of all ages that they don't need a boyfriend or a husband to define themselves or to be happy, but are we really? Think about that next time you chastise your friend for still being a virgin, being single, owning a cat, etc.

Maybe people dislike Harry Potter because they feel uncomfortable with the idea of kids having to defend themselves from the stupidity of generations before them. Also, as a predominantly Christian society, the thought of people, especially kids, using something other than faith in God to solve their problems...that's just icky to think about.

Then there's The Hunger Games. I've heard people complain because of the violence in the series. *Sighs* Unfortunately, violence is inescapable in our culture. Yet again, we have a young person who has to grow up quickly, but she ALSO has to take care of her family. Then we send young kids to fight against one another in battles that they weren't responsible for instigating, while people can watch them on television like it's a game show. Why does this sound familiar? Maybe this book series bothers people because it's showing them that there's something a bit wrong with sending a kid to war (I don't care what people say, eighteen is still a baby)...and that there's something a little bit creepy about being able to watch them fighting (and doing so without a choice), and dying on television like a sordid game show.

If you ask me, what books are meant to do is reveal the human condition, and that life isn't perfect. Sometimes people suck, bad people get ahead, good people have terrible circumstances, not all romantic relationships will be healthy, not all parents are nice to their kids, and what does it even mean to be "good" or "bad" anyway? They should encourage questioning, and analysis not only of the text, but of the social conditions presented. If we want kids to read things about good morals and good people, then it's goodbye Shakespeare, and no more reading The Great Gatsby. Of course, people, like Mr. Dorian Gray, will take meanings from books and turn them into something dangerous, but the book is not to blame.