I Don't Care About Valentine's Day

I do not say this with bitterness or envy; I don't care about Valentine's Day. I'm really quite aloof to it. It's just another day that I wear red lipstick (I wearing it daily). One perk is that I can eat a lot of chocolate and nobody gives me lip for it, but that's really all I've got. I do not feel sad or lonely because I'm single. I don't resent my friends who are married, engaged, dating, etc. who are posting about their Valentine. Well, I may a wee bit because I'm quite unlucky when it comes to love, and I have the obnoxious habit of falling for people I can't have, and oftentimes the guys who are interested in me I want nothing to do with romantically. My most recent interest is an Eponine 101 scenario. I fell for him, but he has no idea (and never will because it's unhealthy).

Anyways, the holiday is really not important to me. Would I like to have a relationship? Yes. However, I don't think the time is right. Apart from no one tangible being about (and the tangible aren't people I want. Seriously, enough with the drunken late night Facebook messages guys) I just don't think the time is right. I just finished university, and I'm in the post-uni shuffle of trying to get a job. Hopefully I'll be going to graduate school this August. If someone came along then I wouldn't be closed off to them because of my life hopefully being a bit busy and crazy. However, I just don't think it's right for now.

Also, I'm not going to act like I choose singledom. It's a chronic condition. I've always had questionable amounts of confidence, and I am much more introverted than a lot of people realize. I can talk in class, to customers, or post funny, sharp things online that would insinuate that I'm not a shy person. However, I have a tendency to be really quiet and shy, especially if I'm nervous. One of the reasons I'm able to talk in class, little known fact, is because I'll write down what I want to say so that I don't ramble or forget. If someone were to take my pulse while talking in class, or to a customer at work, you'd think I just popped off the treadmill. This nervousness goes into guys. The minute I decide I like someone I get a little shy with them, and probably sabotage myself in that respect.

I don't sit around moping about Valentine's Day or dreading the day when it comes. I'm indifferent. I'm actually more depressed if I don't have plans for Halloween. I remember hating it, and finding Valentine's to be the worst day ever as a teenager because you'd have couples bringing each other gifts while you sit there by yourself. In junior high, you could buy carnations for your friends/the person you liked and they would pass them out during the gym period. I remember it being profoundly depressing for me as an thirteen year old, sitting there watching friends of mine get tons of flowers while I had a grand total of zero. Around the same time that year, my grandmother passed away, and I had been in the shuffle of her wake, funeral, and burial. That was a justifiably depressing Valentine's Day.

I still think it's rather silly to be so annoyed by it. I'd rather meet someone who treats me special all year round than the heart-shaped boxes holiday. There are worse things on earth than not having a date or significant other for Valentine's Day.

Things Guys Do That Annoy Me

Like any being of flesh and blood, I certainly have things that are tremendous pet peeves for me.  I figured I'd start my first peeve off with something that annoys me in the realm of guys/dating/courting etc.  Who doesn't like reading about that stuff?

Truth: I haven't really had a real relationship so my experiences are limited in dating.  I've had a lot of crushes on people I cannot have (some I could have if I had been confident, some I REALLY cannot for reasons) and "almosts."  I used to really be that girl who would like a guy and fail to get the hint that he wasn't interested in me too.  I would text, Facebook, and invite them everywhere.  Usually I would suffer in silence and never mention it to the guy, granted if any of them had brain cells I don't think it would be that difficult to catch when someone is interested in you.  I also made the stupid mistake of getting my friends involved, you know, the whole "can you go talk to him for me, please?" Don't do that. It gets nowhere.

Fast forward to now, I would hope that at twenty-four I have grown up a little bit and I know when something is okay or not.  I know when I need to move on (even if it's hard).  Lately though, it seems like the tables have turned, and instead of me being the girl who likes the guy who isn't interested, I am the one attracting gentleman callers who I am not interested in.  Maybe it's just that I'm noticing it now or something.  Currently, honestly, I have not been interested  in anybody for quite a long time. I've entertained silly crushes on people that will go nowhere, but as far as guys who are there, my age...not lately. During school I'd keep myself so busy that dating was never on my mind, and was just friendly to everyone because, generally, I am a nice person.

The big issue I have is with guys being interested who cannot move on from their exes, and this is a tremendous annoyance.  Maybe if I were actually interested in a guy who was recently dumped I would be more merciful, but right now I'm not.  The thing is, I can understand that breaking up is hard because you go from having someone you love and spend so much time with, and then suddenly it's over.  It's lonely. Maybe they've moved on and you have yet to. I get it, ouch.  However, when I meet a guy who, drunk or sober, is still moping about their ex, yet trying to get with me, I am turned off.  I don't expect for anyone to be able to just pull the trigger, and be done with the emotions, but if you're still hurting, you need to avoid relationships. 

Also, just a heads up, speaking negatively about the ex is a huge red flag to stay away.  I don't want to hear you talk about your ex being a bitch, or that she's suddenly gotten so fat.  Apart from it being immature, it indicates to me that if you were to ever date me, and we broke up, you would say these things about me, AND it tells me you aren't over it.  I don't know many girls who want to date guys who are still hung up on their exes in some way. 

I personally, as well, am not interesting in dating a guy who is still sleeping with the ex. Yes, this happened. Friends tried to set me up with a guy who was still aching over his ex, and eventually they just became sexual. Even better, the guy told me how he liked girls with a particular haircut...the same cut his ex had. To this day, I think that guy just wanted to get laid and fill a void. I'm not here for that.

While I'm on the subject of things I don't like guys doing in attempts at courtship; please don't message me over Facebook trying to hit on me. It's annoying and weird.  Especially if you're drunk.  There's nothing more of a turn off than someone hitting you up while they're wasted.  I suppose some people would find it flattering to be thought about by someone while they're drunk, ya know, they are out of their mind yet they can still think of you...no. Hell no. It's a turn off. I get that you may not have my number, so if you want to contact me then Facebook is the only option, that's different. Just think about what you're saying and how you go about it.

These are just my personal feelings. You're allow to disagree, but these are things I cannot stand.  I am not going to sleep with you to fill the void of your ex, nor will I fix your post break-up self esteem.  If you need to diss your ex, don't do it around me because I will not be interested (even if I were in the first place).