I'm dealing with some cabin fever today. The thing that grates about being home is that I am so isolated. I can't really go out because I'm broke. Yes, I'm about to have my part-time job back but I'm going to have to pinch that money tightly until I can get something else off and running to do.
One problem I'm really having, finances aside, is that I really miss my friends. I miss having people around that I can talk to and have fun with who are on the same page as me. And yes, not really having a care apart from getting my academics done. Everyone is right there, and now I'm three hours away. I don't know where my friends here are, and even so it wouldn't make a huge difference because I'm so broke we wouldn't be able to do something fun anyway. I have a few friends in the same boat as me, and some who are around but make no effort to see me, as well as the people who "suck" that I wrote about.
I miss my professors a bit too, and classes in general. I like being able to talk about something I've read for an hour a few times a week, and not have it be something met with the response of "who cares?" I miss feeling smart and encouraged for being smart. Not that my parents don't think I'm smart, it's just a different dynamic.
At some point I'll have to go down and visit. These crazy days are becoming progressively more crazy. I hope maybe working and getting out of my house a little will help. It's just not so easy to stay motivated sometimes. I'm trying to keep in mind that Grad School is awaiting (as long as I'm re-admitted) and time is going pretty fast! February is almost over, really. Then it will be Graduation in two months, and then hopefully I'll be heading back in August. I have a plan that I want to follow. It's a good plan. I just can't lose focus or allow myself to let anything (or anyone) demotivate me.
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