I haven't posted on here in a really long time--yet here I am posting in the wee hours about something incredibly serious and personal in my mind.
There was a time in my life when if someone were to ask me if I am a feminist I would've said "hell no." However, feminism isn't just burning bras, growing body hair, and hating men. Sure, there are feminists who do this I'm sure, but there's a much broader point, in my mind why it's important and why we need it.
For me, it's as simple as this: I believe in Feminism for the simple fact that I want to be able to walk through a parking lot at night and not feel any less safe than anybody else just because I am a woman. I want to be able to wear the clothing I want to wear without being people publicly objectifying me. Which brings me to this post.
I was told by a co-worker today that a newly hired keyholder made comments to her not only about my body, but my store manager's. Whether this associate was trying to spread gossip to me or stir the post to muster up drama I don't know (but how could anybody pass information like that on and not expect it to be taken seriously?). Coupled by the fact that this particular new keyholder has made me uncomfortable before, asking if I have a boyfriend, and my feeling like he's always staring at me--we came to have some concrete evidence that supported my feeling uncomfortable around this person.
When this person was first hired, I was amiable because that's how I am. I like to think I'll give people a chance within reason. However, there were times I'd just feel uncomfortable. I thought maybe I was just paranoid because we had a new person in the store that changed the dynamic and maybe I needed to be patient and give the guy a chance. Then this news came in and I feel valid for the discomfort arisen from this person's presence.
Naturally, my store manager was angry to hear this. Like it or not, but a comment about a co-worker's body can be construed as sexual harassment.
When I said something about it, I felt guilty at first for saying something. You know those people who say they hate drama yet they bring it everywhere? I like to think I'm not like that, but I am a person who actually hates drama--I have anxiety issues people. Anxiety ridden people don't like commotion. You can say I'm overreacting or freaking out about everything, fine. But you're part of the problem. I used to find phrases like "rape culture" annoying, but I get it because in rape culture, a person is made to feel guilty if they address discomfort because of something someone says or does, or dressing in a way to cover your body in order to avoid advances.
I don't care what job you have, be it retail or a bloody CEO, everyone has the right to feel comfortable and safe at their job, and not as if they are being objectified.
And I'm not an idiot. Seriously, everyone has a butt. We all look at each other's butts. It's just what people do. I am aware I have a big butt and it's really pretty damn obvious and not really up for discussion. It's fact. However, I think it is WILDLY inappropriate to discuss people's bodies at your job. Not only is it gossip, but it's harassment. I know the situation is going to be handled, and regardless, I will be in school soon and away from it all. I don't think this circumstance is ok and I don't understand anyone who wouldn't see the situation as problematic. If you want to come to work daily and feel uncomfortable or objectified then knock yourself out, but I don't. And I'm not about to let any guy try and do that to me.
I imagine, in fairness, that this guy didn't realize it would be taken negatively or repeated. Was it meant to be offensive or something that made me uncomfortable? No. I doubt it. However, it's not appropriate considering how much we have to talk not only to each other but to our customers. I can't say I've ever had a discussion about a co-worker's body. It's one thing to talk amongst friends about those things, but at work it's another story. I imagine for him he came in and saw how close everyone in the store is, and how well we all get along and talk. Maybe it's me, but whenever I'm the new kid I pay attention to personalities, dynamics, and what will be okay vs not. Had I come into my store after being gone and worked with the new employees and then started gossiping about their bodies or other things about them I don't think I would've been received well. At all. The end.
