How To Survive Undergrad

With my Master's Degree looming, as well as my commencement ceremony for my Bachelor's next weekend, my future feels so bright. Not only that, but I'm also thinking about all of the experiences I've had, mistakes, triumphs, etc. Anywho, here are a few of my gems that I felt worth sharing with the masses (or just the people who actually read this):

1. Get over yourself.
If you come into college unwilling to be open and meet new, different people then you'll never make friends. In my experience, people generally don't care that much about if you're "preppy" or "metal." Yes, some still do. However, most people in college have the "we're in it together" mentality and will make friends with just about anybody in their classes, or their roommate who is into anime when they don't know/care about it.

2. While you should be open to other people, you should still have standards.
It's good to make friends, but it's important to recognize when those friends are toxic. If they make you compromise yourself or make you feel bad about being the way you are, ditch them. Don't invest in that person, or the one who guilts you into a frat party when you've got a midterm to study for. Be open, but pay attention so you can realize when someone isn't good for you.

3. Actually go to class.
Yes, you do have to go to class. Unlike high school where they will e-mail and call your mommy to let her know if you're absent or tardy, it's on you to show up. Go. To. Class. Your college professors will not babysit you or call your mother if you blow off class or show up late. However, you still should go. Save your skipping days for when you actually are sick.

4. While we're on the subject of going to class, show up on time.
My university is small enough that if you blow off class, or arrive tardy, the professor will know because the door is right at the front of the classroom. Not only that, but they take attendance and factor it into your grade! Miss enough class and you fail. Seriously, the easiest part of a class is showing up on time. Sure accidents happen, and you'll be late, but if it's not a common reoccurrence they won't get that pissed with you.

Maybe it's just me, but to me, showing up on time says that you care about the class, and it shows some integrity. It's also just a form of respect to your classmates and your professor.

5. You actually have to do the assigned reading.
In college, reading is real homework. I'm not going to act like there were times in high school when I didn't read and still aced the work because I did. However, it doesn't work that way in college at all. Professors like to give quizzes, call on people at random, etc. They know when you haven't read. They aren't idiots, and they've probably skipped reading before too and they know the signs.

PS You'll actually enjoy class if did the reading because you'll know what's going on.

6. Don't take the "easy" classes for granted.
This is an important one. Just because it's an easy class for you it doesn't mean you should slack. Do the work and get an A. It's annoying to have a class that's easy for you and wind up with a B or C because you took it for granted. Seriously, don't get too cocky because it will end you. You don't want to wind up re-taking a class because you slacked through it because you thought it was "too easy."

7.Beware showing up to class under the influence.
Your classmates will know if you show up recovering from a high or hungover, naturally. But you want to know who else knows? PROFESSOR. I've had this conversation with one of mine before, confirming he could see the hungover or stoned eyes peering back. If you don't care that they see you this way, then fine....but I guess I personally would, especially considering how I've had a few of my professors write recommendations for me. And it's not like they don't talk...

8. Actually get to know your professors.
This is crucial. If you go to a university where your professors are accessible, take full advantage. For me, a huge part of my undergraduate experience was meeting my professors and building connections with them as people. This comes well into play if you ever need a reference, or just someone to talk to when life gets stressful. Also, if you're struggling with something and you actively seek help from them, it says something. I like to think that my effort has put me at a higher grade than anticipated a few times before. I am very lucky that the university I will return to for my MA is filled with professors who earnestly care about their students. If I get a less than stellar grade, sometimes I'll get a "see me for further explanation" on the assignment. I've even had days where I was ill and had a professor ask me if I was alright.

If you engage them, they will engage you. Act like you care, and so will they. If you just go in and out of class, take so-so grades and go, then they won't know you (and they'll possibly forget you). If you're fine with a D, so are they. They won't hunt you down if you are performing poorly, but if they know you're trying but struggling there is some stock in that.

9. Just because you're away from mom doesn't mean you should eat all the junk food you want.
The freshman fifteen is a think. As is the sophomore fifteen, the junior fifteen, and the senior fifteen. All together that's sixty pounds. SIXTY. This seems dramatic, but it does happen. While it's not a bad thing to eat at the cheap Mexican restaurant now and then, you should include healthy options in their too. The dining hall has enough variety that you can make good choices.

Also, most universities have a gym, and access is in your tuition (so, basically it's free). I'm not saying you should become a bunny food eating gym rat, but college is a decent time to learn about making healthy choices. Plus, if I have a ten page paper to write, I feel a little better while I'm doing it if I ate healthy and exercised that day...there's a lot of ass-sitting time in college so it's good to move around a little bit.

10. Beware the alcohol.
No one (I'd hope) is naïve enough to think that drinking doesn't happen 24/7 on college campuses. Whether it's a dry campus or not, it's happening somewhere if you really want to find it. I honestly wouldn't encourage drinking underage--it's overrated. I see the point, and as someone who did it, I truly believe it was only exciting because I wasn't allowed. Having said that, you don't want to get busted drinking underage, or doing anything irresponsible with booze because that can haunt you.

11. When you do go places to drink, bring friends.
Don't go to the bar alone. Don't go to a party alone. Bring a buddy or three and watch each other's back. This isn't specifically for the ladies either (but unfortunately, within rape culture we are the ones targeted a bit more when we drink too much). Bad things can happen to anybody if they overdo it or go somewhere alone.

12. Don't black out.
Everyone who drinks will probably experience some bad situations where they drink too much, throw up, whatever. Learn your lesson and know your limits. The times I've thrown up involved bad mixtures of things. Last Halloween, I went to a party and I didn't eat much beforehand. I hand vodka, jungle juice, wine, shots, and I believe I smoked a cigarette. If you aren't used to smoking, you will puke. Guess who puked? Guess who was the hot mess crying drunk?

And beware too many Long Islands. I've learned if I'm going to be drinking, it's better for me to stick to one type of liquor for the evening...especially if shots end up happening.

13. How to cure a hangover.
Gatorade, non-diet sugary soda, and something carby. And some asprin. Sleep helps too, but if you can't sleep it off you've got your survival guide. You're welcome.

14. Actually study for tests.
Now that I've given you some alcohol advice, back to the books. College requires studying. Lots of it. Unlike high school you don't have as many opportunities for redemption if you screw something up. In one of my classes we only had participation and four tests. FOUR. In another we had our participation, daily quizzes, a test, an in-class essay, one paper, and the final exam. That's all we got.

15. If the professor offers extra credit, DO IT.
Extra credit in college is like a unicorn, so when the opportunity presents itself you'd better go for it! Even if you don't need it, better to be safe than sorry, and it might show the professor you care a bit. In my experience, when it's offered it usually involves attending an event on campus and writing something about it--which is easy, and often it's interesting.

16. Get involved.
If I could redo anything in my undergrad, maybe I would have joined in some organizations around campus as a way to meet more people and gain other opportunities.

17. Significant others aren't the most important thing ever.
Don't get pre-occupied with the dating stuff. If it happens, let it happen. It's college, not Noah's Ark. You don't need to pair off. It's not the most important thing on earth, even if it seems like it is.

Body-Con

Working retail, or any form of customer service, is difficult without a question. You have to be patient and respectful even when the people you are paid to be polite to are rude and disrespectful. The hours are long, you don't have weekends, you stand all day, you're not making much money, yet you bust your bum working really hard. I truly think the people who disrespect or complain about customer service employees have never worked in our position. Granted, there are times when we do suck at our job, and there are people out there who have zero business in a field that involves being nice to people. People like myself though are trying quite hard, and I would never intentionally offend someone.

Ok, that is a tangent beyond the point of this post.

I think one of the most challenging aspects of working in a clothing store is when customers are insecure about their bodies. I work in a women's fashion store, and you learn really quickly that when your mom told you that once you got past your insecure teenager phase, you'd begin to feel better about your body--well, she was lying. Lying might be the wrong word, and sure some people surely do grow out of it, but it's amazing, and sad, how many women still hold onto these insecurities. I have helped women my age, their thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, tall, petite, pregnant, athletic, etc. and the self-consciousness is ceaseless. It's tragic how society pressures every single woman to look and feel a certain way about their body.

The sometimes difficult part is when I have to build up a customer's confidence. I will do it willingly because I think people deserve to have clothing that makes them feel comfortable and like themselves, and I dislike when women feel as if they cannot buy clothes because of something they dislike about their body. There's a body dysmorphia epidemic going on so it seems.

 

Sometimes I feel like a fraud when I'm trying to uplift my customers when I'm as self conscious as I am about my body. I'm constantly pinching fat on my back and stomach (yet I can feel my ribs pretty easily). I'm self conscious about the paleness of my legs, as well as my stretch marks and cellulite. Sometimes I'm insecure about my teeth, my breasts, my arms, thighs, etc.  I pick myself apart.

 

Have I gotten better though? I think so. I actually like shopping for clothes because I know what makes me feel good about myself, and cuts that flatter me in a way that I like. My poochy stomach doesn't bother me everyday, and I do actually like having hips that contrast with my smaller waist. I feel better about myself, and it's a tremendous improvement from where I was as a teenager. I remember when I was at my worst, just obsessed with my body beyond belief. Pure anxiety. And I thought I wasn't worthy of anything because I hated how I looked (not good grades, friends, fun, happiness, boyfriends, etc.). I was a downright bastard to myself, and I still can be, but I do think I'm a little bit less intolerable.

 

It makes me a little sad meeting women who don't think they are allowed to wear pretty clothes, or who won't get a different size in order to get the right fit. If there's anything I've learned in all of the jobs I've worked that involve selling clothes it's that sizing really isn't significant. There isn't a standard involved. In my store alone, I wear anything from a size four to an eight, or an extra small or small. In other places, it's strictly a six, or nine, or medium. Whatever. It's irrelevant at this point, and you look thinner if your clothes actually fit.

 

 

And so we don't end on a sad note, here's a fashion tip from Amanda: it doesn't matter if you're a size two or a size twenty--if you wear undergarments that don't fit you correctly then you will have rolls and lumps when you put clothes over them. It's fact. Start with a smooth canvas, and undies that actually fit you then you're set! Easy enough, yes?